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Bringing home a second child and understanding jealousy
By Wendy Simons

If you are a parent who is dealing with good old fashioned "sibling rivalries" between your children then this article is for you. Fighting between brothers or sisters (or both) is a matter that you may have to deal with for a long time, but the good news is that there are effective ways of handling and understanding this situation without getting all stressed out.

In today's article we are going to discuss how to handle the oldest child when he is jealous of a new baby in the house. It is important not to overreact and excite yourself too much when it comes to jealousy with your children, especially if the older one is of pre-school age.

It is understandable if your child has feelings of resentment and frustration inside because no child wants to give up the spotlight of parental affection for a fairly new addition to the family. It takes some time for your child to discover that his Mommy and Daddy don't love him any less just because they have a second child that may be taking up more attention.

If your older child tends to make fun of or ridicule the baby then do not punish him. Simply pull him aside and be with him. By punishing your oldest every time he shares his feelings of unhappiness over the new baby, it further tells makes him feel that the new child is more important than him.

The older child may even start to imitate your little baby because he sees that the baby is getting more attention. For example, the older brother may start sucking his own thumb, try to crawl into the crib, or anything else that he may think will get him attention like the baby is getting.

Many parents automatically tell the child "Don't do that, your not a baby!" and whisk him off to another area where he further feels left out. Simply allow him to act the part for some time. Allow him to imitate the baby. There is nothing wrong with that.

However, be sure to only allow this "imitating" to go on perhaps once or twice at the most each time, and do not reward him by giving extra attention. Make it totally clear that your oldest child does not have to act like a baby to get the attention he is after. Make it known that he does not have to be like a baby in order to get the love, attention, and affection he feels he is missing.

Instead, praise your child more when he acts "grown up". Start by giving your child plenty of opportunities to act like the older brother, to help take care of the baby, and to know that he will be praised when helps Mommy and Daddy with his little brother or little sister. This will further solidify that he is to act as himself and will be appreciated for it, instead of having the desire to act like a baby to get appreciation and attention.

Author Details:
Wendy Simons, writes for a number of sites about health, beauty and cosmetic surgery, she also makes contributions to the A-Z of.com.

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