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Can you be your children's "buddy"?
By Wendy Simons

Is it possible to not only be your child's parent but also their best friend as well? Is there a fine line between being that parent role and also acting as the "friend" role?

Regardless of what your child tells you, deep inside they want to be able to trust you as a parent and not somebody to "hang out" with. The want to know that their parents are older and more mature than they are so that they will always have someone they can count on when then need help or advice.

As a parent myself I have experienced this first hand. When my daughter was a young teenager, around the age of fifteen, we got very close. I realize that it is odd for most teenagers to become close to their parents, especially at that age, but I have always been very young at heart and rather "hip" according to my daughter's friends.

We would wear the same cloths, often the same hairstyles, and even act the same way. Now keep in mind that this is the way I have always been and I like it. My daughter was just catching up to me and started to be more like me everyday.

The relationship was fun, but eventually grew to be a major conflict. One such example of a conflict was that she stopped responding to me and respecting me as a parent. Too many months and years of having that "pal" type of relationship ended up with my daughter talking back to me like she would her friends.

She also described my parental relationship as being "too close" in many different ways. She told me one day that I had become too overbearing and suffocating. Once I took a step back and listened to what she had to say I realized that I too was treating her more and more passively in time, and less as a concerned Mother.

Of course this scenario is not always the same with every family. In fact, girls say it is easier to have pal-like relationships with their fathers than with their mothers. The reason for this is because time with fathers is usually involved to some sort of activity.

When a mother is too close, as in my situation above, it is not a friendship of equals. And while they do want to know what their mothers think and feel, they may not be equipped to hear about deep problems, nor should they have to.

All of this does not mean that our children do not want to be friends with their parents. In fact, most children would like the feeling knowing that they have a little more of a bond than just a parent-child relationship. But be sure to know when to draw the line. Know when there is a difference between being there as a parent whom your kids can talk to, and existing in a "competitive friendship" type of scenario.

Author Details:
Wendy Simons, writes for a number of sites about health, beauty and cosmetic surgery, she also makes contributions to the A-Z of.com.

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